Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I Won the Sunshine Award

Fellow blogger/Author and Friend Delia Latham has passed on the Sunshine award to me, and I am going to do the same to some of those whose blogs have touchecd me...

Deliah Latham The Melody Within

Lisa Buffaloe Lisa Buffaloes Blog

Tricia Goyer Real Life Inspired

Michelle Sutton Edgy Inspirational Author Blog

Lori Laws: Nothing but the Truth


Miralee Ferrell Novel Journey

Friday, April 23, 2010

What Do You Choose? says this about Victory

1 a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war.


an engagement ending in such triumph: American victories in the Pacific were won at great cost.


the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest: The new vaccine effected a victory over poliomyelitis.


a success or superior position achieved against any opponent, opposition, difficulty, etc.: a moral victory.


We can choose to live a life of victory or we can wallow in self pity, letting every obstacle we face stand in our way. I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, or we can wake up and give God the glory… The fact is it is up to us to choose whether we are going to allow our lives to be that of victory or that of defeat.

Living with a disability does not mean we have to live a life of defeat, and the some of us certainly is not defined by our physical abilities, or lack thereof, it is our souls that are more important than our bodies anyway, these bodies are only temporal vessels our souls are going to be part of us even when we die. Our bodies return to the dust from which they were created our souls do not.

1 Peter 1

 1Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
      To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, 2who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:
      Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

Praise to God for a Living Hope

 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

 10Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 12It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

Be Holy

 13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."[a]

 17Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. 18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

 22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b]
23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For,
   "All men are like grass,
      and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
   the grass withers and the flowers fall,
    25but the word of the Lord stands forever."[
c] And this is the word that was preached to you.

Living in victory to me is not necessarily about winning the race, but competing in it, the race we call life, is not about taking what we can out of it, but giving of ourselves, and we can find the victory in that, no matter what our disabilities, no matter what our differences, the choice is ours, we can live our lives for Christ, or we can let the obstacles in our lives drag us down, and let us loose that faith. The choice is ours, I pray I always choose victory over defeat.



Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Have We Become Closet Christians?

Whatever happened to being true Christians in every aspect of our lives? Now mind you I am not talking about everyone, but it seems sometimes we have become closet Christians? We will use faith when it suits us, and deny it when it doesn't. A relationship with Jesus should not be something we should just turn on and off, only to use when it suits us, we need to speak for Christ in all aspects of our lives, not just when it suits us, and that includes in our friendships, and everyday relationships. We do not just turn off faith when it seems like it will better suite us, because believe me, it never does. We will eventually pay for our actions, for denying Christ, just because our so called friends are doing that, we can use all the excuses we want, but the fact of the matter is we need to get with the program, and open our eyes to who Christ really is, and live like we love him, not like he was just some kind of fairy tale figure, because Christ is as real as you and I.

Romans 1:18-22

 18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

 21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

I have learned that we can try and hide from God all we want, we can try to hide our faith all we want, but pretending to be something we are not is not going to work, and God will call us out on it. He is going to make sure we do not put ourselves in place that will ultimately destroy our faith, and if our faith is destroyed, that is on us, our choices our decisions, blaming God isn't going to change anything. We need to stand up, and stop pretending, (those of us) who have become closet Christians. I feel it is time we wore our faith proudly, and stopped trying to fit in simply for the sake of fitting in.

A large part of our nation have become Christian in name only, it is time we stop being Closet Christians, and started wearing our faith proudly.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Don’t You Think God Gets Tired of Our Excuses?

Ephesians 4:13-15 (New International Version)

13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

 14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Why is it that so often we do not allow ourselves to grow in Christ, that we become frozen at some point in our walk with Christ, we let hurdles stand in our way, because we cannot see beyond the obstacles that lay in front of us, but in order to grow in faith, we need to move forward, we need to make mistakes, and learn from them, not make mistakes and sulk over them. Or we let them become stumbling blocks to our Faith, we think we can't move forward because we don't allow ourselves to move forward.

Romans 8:28-31 (New International Version)

More Than Conquerors

 28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.
29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

 31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

How often do we get mad at a situation and blame God, or get mad at a mistake we made, and blame God? I mean really, who are we to blame God for every little mistake we make? We were given free will, but that does not mean we are not the ones making the mistakes, it often means we are not listening to the Lord speaking to our hearts.

Don't get me wrong I know there are times that things happen that we don't deserve, but every bad thing is not some kind of punishment from God, that we are going through something because we did something wrong, when often that is not the case.

The fact is bad things happen, no matter how good we try to be, and it is up to us how we react to them. We can either let this get us down, or we can use these trials to draw us nearer to the Lord, and stop spending every minute blaming God for every wrong thing in our lives.

I know there are times when we genuinely cry out, when we genuinely don't understand and the Lord is there to listen to us, but we are not being punished every time we stub or toe, or break a finger nail.

We can be secure in God's love for us, even when bad things happen we can see God's love.

I often find myself wondering why so many people fall away when times are tough, either that or go to the other extreme and only pray when they need something instead of taking the time to thank God every day.

Don't you think God gets tired of our excuses when we say we are too busy to pray, to read the word, to fellowship in anyway?

Don't you think he wonders when we can spend hours a day at the computer playing games on different networking sites, but goodness we are just too busy for Church, for prayer, for the Bible.



Friday, April 16, 2010

It’s Time to Put on the Armor of God

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Now more than ever we need to be aware of the importance of putting on the Armor of God. It is true that we live in a dangerous time, even our own nations foundations are being threatened, with a president who does not seem to care so much about the Christian values this nation was founded on. I do not believe that we should have our Christian values taken from us, if you don't want to worship Christ, fine, but why take away our national day of prayer?

It is also important that we put on the Armor of God, of course, but it is also important that we don't become so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to take the time to spend with the Creator of our Lives. Why is it that so often we either wait until a time of crisis to realize the importance of putting on the Armor of God, or we forget to do it all together, trying to fight battles that were never ours to fight alone. We are so much stronger when we have Christ on our side, and the truth is he does not leave us, we leave him.

We get this idea that we can handle things on our own, that we need to prove just how strong we are, and yet without Christ a big part of us dies, and without Christ we are not ever going to be as strong as we could be with Christ. Yet here we go through life, trying to carry the burdens on our own, or we get so busy living, we forget to look to the Creator.

Ever find yourself saying I am just too busy, too busy, to pray, to worship, to do what the Lord would have you do, yet we will sit down and watch a two hour movie, but we are too busy to listen to a forty five minute sermon, or spend a few minutes in prayer.

Something is wrong with this picture, so let's get back to putting on the Armor of God…

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Cast Your Cares

1 Peter 5:7-9 (New International Version)

7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Ever feel anxious? Of course you have, if you tell me you haven't I am going to wonder if you are being truthful, after all we are only human, humans with human emotions, and human patience with worries, but we do have hope, when we are feeling overwhelmed with the worries and the cares, we can give them to the Lord. We are not supposed to spend our lives worrying, full of fear, because the good Lord wants us to cast our burdens on him.

I am reminded so often of God's Grace, when I truly give my cares to the Lord.

If I let myself be anxious, or worry about every little thing in my life, then the fact is I would be so overcome with worry that I would not have room for faith, and I want my relationship with the Lord, to be the first thing that.

In the book of Matthew it is made clear that the Lord does not want us worrying about the things that he takes care of, even in this day and age, when we seem so overwhelmed by worried, the Lord is still providing, when we truly believe:

Matthew 6:25-31 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry

 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

Worrying does not add a moment to our lives, in fact it only serves to make us sick, to pull our hair out, to bite our nails, perhaps literally, perhaps figuratively, but if we worry about tomorrow before it comes what point is that?

I admit I am a worrier, but I am focusing more on worrying about other things like whether or not those I care about have given their hearts to Christ.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell




Book Review: From a Distance Tamera Alexander

Book Title From A Distance

Author Tamera Alexander

Copyright 2008

Elizabeth Westbrook travelled from Washington D.C to the Colorado Territory, to take photographs for a Washington Paper, she wanted to secure her place as a photographer for the paper, and she hoped the cool dry air would cure her mysterious lung ailment.
Elizabeth hires an assistant when she gets to Timber Ridge a former slave named Josiah, an unlikely paring perhaps but Josiah is a quick learner and quickly becomes a person Elizabeth can trust despite the things being said about him.
She also meets a former Confedorate sharpshooter who acts as a guide to help her on some of her trips to photograph, bur when her equiptment is vandalized, she begins to wonder if this entire trip was a waste of time and effort. In the 1870's women were still having trouble finding any place in a professional sense, and women photographers were rare, but Elizabeth was determined to show the world just what she saw in her lenses.
From a Distance will take you on a fun and educational journey, and it will show you that some things are not always as they seem. If you are in the mood to travel back in time, with a woman ahead of her time, you will enjoy From A Distance.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It Taught Me to Embrace the Moment

I've lived with aspects of my condition all of my life, but for most of my life, the condition was unnamed, I was told over and over again that it was in my head, that I was faking it, by doctors, by teachers, by many of the people who should have been listening. I knew it was not in my head though, that bladder issues, that weakness, that falling, were just not some psychosomatic thing, that I was not just imagining it all. I had one teacher who always thought I was faking it no matter what I did, that teacher to this day is one of the teachers that stand out in a negative way, not positive, yet strangely I do not remember her name, maybe that's my way of dealing with the way she made me feel. I was a sophomore, fifteen or sixteen at the time, and I did not need her making me feel even more confused than I already was, but as vividly as some of the things this teacher said, the ones who offered me support, who actually taught me things, beyond the school learning, beyond the books as important as they are to me especially as a writer, the gifts that they gave me that I carry with me are great, and I cherish those gifts, those were the teachers who made a difference in me.

In a strange way my disability itself has been a teacher, or perhaps it is not so strange, the fact is the condition has taught me things I might not otherwise learn.

I am certainly more empathetic to others, I have learned to be more understanding, to be more patient, and it has taught me to slow down and enjoy life a little, because tomorrow is not a promise, but if we do have tomorrow it is a gift, a gift from God, a gift that we should not take for granted.

Living with a disability has also made me realize that there are others a lot worse off than I am. I have a neuromuscular condition, but I can still walk, and do many of the things I did before, I just have to give myself more time, than before, and have to prepare myself before. Granted there are times when I need the aide of cane, or I use my AFO's probably a lot less often than I should, but to me those things do not confine me, nor do they define me they allow me the freedom I need, they are the tools that have allowed me to be independent, that have allowed me to do the things I want to do, and I thank God for that. Whether its playing with my nieces and nephews or my friends children, taking care of my thirteen year old niece Amber, or taking care of my dog and cat.

I've learned through this that I have to be patient with myself, and that I have to be patient with others, it has taught me to listen better and understand better. I am not saying that I am perfect, that I don't make mistakes that I don't grow frustrated, and ask myself why me, because the fact is I do, but I have learned to be more understanding, and I have learned to accept what this condition entails. What my life entails, and I try my best, to live my life to its fullest, and live for the Lord. This condition and the faith I have in the Lord has taught me to embrace the moment, not take it for granted.

God’s Grace Was There

I am often reminded of Christ's love in the everyday things I do, and it is an amazing love, even when I am feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulder, I know I can lean on Jesus.

As a Christian I know I am not perfect, but Jesus' blood bought me forgiveness of my sins, does that mean I just go around sinning, because I know I am forgiven, no of course, not because that is not the way it works, we learn from our mistakes, and when we know we've done wrong we ask for forgiveness.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."- Romans 3:23-24

No one but Christ himself was free of sin, but that does not mean as Christians we go around intentionally sinning, and it does not mean we go around judging everyone, because that is certainly not our place, like everyone else, I weigh the facts, and I look at the different sides of things then I state what I am feeling, my feelings are often based on the facts or the things I have experienced, but my faith is so much stronger than even my emotions, because even when I am an emotional wreck, I know somewhere deep down that the Lord is there, that no matter how emotional I am feeling the Lord is there for me.

The fact is the Lord has seen me through things I would not have gotten through on my own.

The lost of loved ones, including my best friend, who died when she was only thirty six, and other looses that weighed heavy on my heart, but I rest comforted in the fact that they are resting in the arms of Jesus.

I am reminded of the ways he has touched my life, and the ways he has brought gifts into my life. Gifts that perhaps in the end were simply there to teach me to lean on him, even when I have lost people, even when people ultimately ended up hurting me, I knew that the Lord's hand was still evident, despite the pain I was feeling, I knew somewhere God's Grace was there.

Through rejection, and hurt, through illness, and disability, through struggles I can still see his grace.

In the laughter of a child I can still see his grace.

I look at things differently now than I did before I came to Christ, and the fact is I believe I am a better person, not the shy timid, scared girl I once was, not the one looking for answers where no answers lay, but I see Christ, in the simple things, and I embrace the small gifts in life. And the fact is because of God's Grace I have better been able to deal with my weakened muscles, in a way it has taught me to lean stronger on the Lord.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

This Writers Dreams

As a writer I am also an observer.

Often writers are told they have their heads in the clouds and sometimes that is true. Which one of us have not been guilty of putting our head in the clouds? I mean who can honestly tell me they have not day dreamed. Truth is there is nothing wrong with day dreaming, but there are times when we have to be acutely aware that is not true for only writers but everyone, but as writers, we learn to study people. A certain mannerism, a certain figure of speech anything can be an inspiration for a story idea a character.

Some of my greatest ideas have actually come from dreams, dreams that the Lord blessed me with, and let me remember.

It was a dream that gave birth to A Sister's Justice, Followed By Deception Beneath, and Buried Truths. A dream was what created Marishka Tanya Alexei Character.

Anna was dead, just like that, she had taken her own life. I thought she was getting better, that she was going to start a new life, I never imagined that she would end her life. I was the oldest sister, I should have known something like this. I should have seen it, made her get help.

I prayed that I would wake up and this would all be a nightmare. Anna really couldn't have killed herself, yet deep down I knew it was real.

" We need you to come down and identify the body, we are sure it's her, but it's part of the procedure."

The body, my sister was more than a body! A Sisters Justice Page.40-41 Published 2009 PublishAmerica.

Books of course are another great source for ideas, as are pictures, a single image can spark a myriad of ideas. Different authors will see different stories in that same photograph that same image.

As a writer and a Christian I find myself praying that I am able to touch others for Christ with my words, and to educate others. We as writers are learning from the past in more ways than we realize, and we live in a day and age where that knowledge is right at our fingertips, the internet can be a tool for evil if we allow it, but I choose to use it for good. I am by no means perfect, but that is not the point I do serve a perfect Lord, who has blessed me with the gift of words.

And I never know what dreams the Lord might bless me with and how they may turn into stories, stories that show just what others are capable of, stories that look beyond a person's disabilities or differences, and show the love of Christ shining through them.

From Deception Beneath Book Two In The Marishka Tanya Alexei Series Published October 2009

As I watched my children though, I had faith that they would not

follow the path Anna followed, and I had faith that they would learn from

my mistakes as well. I wanted them to understand that it was okay to talk

about things that were bothering them. I did not want them thinking they

had to bottle everything up. Something Sophia, Anna and I had believed

growing up. It was Ana who first broke the silence about what happened

to us as children. Page.13

Dreams can carry us to places that we may never see otherwise, and I truly believe that the Lord gives us certain dreams, for certain reasons, and I believed he wanted me to tell Marishka's story, something I am still telling to day. Book three has been submitted for publication and I am currently mapping out book four. All for the glory of the Lord.

In Christ's Love


He Could Not Silence Her Even In Death

Sunday April.11 is Holocaust Memorial Day, and I for one believe it is important that we take a time to remember what Hitler put so many through during his reign of terror, that we stop and reflect on just how blessed we are to not be living through what was lived through in the Holocaust, but the sad fact is even today, ignorance and Hatred exist, and I am sure it always will, but in third world companies it is so bad, that children are forced to fight in war. The LRA reared its ugly head and Uganda taking the lives of many children, and forcing them to kill.

As a Christian, I believe in showing others the love of Christ, and the power of forgiveness, but I also believe that the Lord will have his time with others, and men like Hitler have found their punishment in the fiery pits of Hell. There is no way to sugar coat that man's evil, and there is nothing to admire about a man who thought he could wipe out an entire people, sadly he nearly did, but there were those who at the risk of their own lives fought for those that were persecuted.

Miep Gies, who died earlier this year, is perhaps the best known of the "Helpers." To the Frank family and a woman who saw wrong and was not going to sit idly by.

Every day she risked her life, as she went into the Secret Annex to bring the Frank Family food and news, she knew the dangers, and she knew that if she was caught she would face the same punishment that those who were Jewish or imperfect in any way did. Hatred consumed Hitler at every end, but women and men with a bravery like Miep Gies, gave a glimmer of hope.

Unfortunately two and a half years into hiding, someone told the Gestapo about the Franks and everyone living in the Secret Annex was taken to Concentration Camps, Anne Frank and her Sister Margo were taken to Bergen Belsen where they both died of typhus Anne Frank died only three weeks before they were liberated.

Otto Frank was the only survivor out of the secret Annex and he committed his life to getting his youngest daughters diary's published, because it had been her dream to one day be a rider.

Her dream was released after her death, and to this day the Diary of Anne Frank is one of the most read books in the world. Hitler's evil, and his evil empire could not silence a young girl even in death, and other stories were told, because of the bravery of a young girl who confided everything in her Diary Kitty, and because of Miep Gies who picked up the diary after it had been thrown on the floor of the Annex when the Gestapo men took them away.

It is stories like this, true stories, that remind us, that evil exists, but there is greater power in love, and courage…

Friday, April 9, 2010

Let’s Be Honest: Insecurity

Let's be honest with ourselves, and I mean truly honest.

We've all been at a place where we have felt insecure right?

Insecurity may cause more problem to some that others, but my guess is at one time or another we have all had problems with our security.

I know I have, and many I call friends have. Even the greatest, and most beautiful have, if we look at the lives of even the most beautiful, the most popular we can see insecurity.

Actresses and actors hooked on drugs, famous people committing suicide.

Insecurity has become a real problem. And if we don't address the problem it is going to continue to destroy lives literally.

There is hope though, hope in Christ.

In her book so Long Insecurity Beth Moore says this:

God knows we are insecure but we do not need to be. And He will not leave well enough alone. He has enough security for those of us who call Christ Savior. He slipped his own secure spirit within our simple jars of clay." Beth Moore So Long Insecurity Pg 143

We in this generation have perhaps more that can cause us to be insecure than the generations before us. We are inundated by media images, of what perfect is, we are constantly told we are to fat, to thin, or to whatever, to tall, to short, our hair is not the right color, we aren't wearing the right brand of shoes, we don't have the newest electronic gadget, but in no way should those be the things that feed our insecurity, yet they do.

When we embrace Christ though, when Christ is our Savior that is the place where we can truly find our security.

Now's the time to be honest, what has made you insecure and how has your relationship with the Lord changed that insecure feeling that once swallowed you whole?

Michelle R Kidwell


This Writers Prayer!

After a little over a year of writing and rewriting, I finally put the final touches on Buried Truths the third book in the Marishka Tanya Alexei series, and now I already find myself thinking in terms of book four, while writing yet another book Love Illuminated. I find myself doing a little celebration treating myself to a Rice Krispies Treat, and just relaxing for a few, okay well I am writing this blog, and working a little on Love Illuminated, but after getting Buried Truths finished I find myself relieved but I do not believe this is going to be the last that is heard from the Alexei family, Marishka and her families story is far from over. I have lived, breathed ate and slept these stories for so long, that I have become rather attached to the characters LOL!

I am sitting here after one am having finished Buried truths, yet still wide awake, Abby (my precious poodle laying on my bed) looking over at me hinting, and our rescue kitty Cindy under my desk keeping me company as I write, and contemplate on the blessings of this writer's life. The fact is I have a lot to celebrate the most important of course is the fact that I serve the Lord, without him I would not be sharing.

As I am writing this, I am reminding of John 1:1-14

 1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.

 3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood[a] it.

 6There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. 7He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. 8He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.[b]

 10He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13children born not of natural descent,[c] nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

 14The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,[d] who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

As a writer but more than that as Christian those words intrigue me, in the beginning was the word and the word was God. I think of the gift of words the Lord blessed me with, and I find myself praying:

Lord let me use my words to glorify you, let my words draw others to you.

I remind myself daily that whether I am writing fiction or writing fact, I am writing to glorify the Lord, and though I am not perfect, I do serve a perfect Lord, who gave me the gift of words, how could I not write for him?

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


1:17 A.M PST



Thursday, April 8, 2010

Could You Forgive?

Last night I found myself watching a program on prayer late last night, early this morning and one segment talked about a woman who talked about forgiving the Nazi's who had imprisoned her family in Bergen Belsen, forgiveness is a powerful tool and we all have the power to forgive but to forgive something like that prayer is needed, and we truly need to lean on the Lord.

I have been hurt before and have forgiven, but never have I experienced the pain of not knowing whether or not I was going to be gassed In Nazi showers, and perhaps even praying that I would, because so much hope was stripped from me, forgiveness of something like that is done with the hand of God, and with a lot of support, it was a Christian friend, nearly twenty years later and in California instead of the Dutch camp of Bergen Belsen, in California, Vera gave the hurt and pain she was holding onto to God. Like she said forgiveness is not about letting someone go scot free but about letting God take care of the justice.

I listened intently to Vera Schlaam's story and found myself thinking of our own power to forgive, far too often, we hold onto the smallest offenses not giving them to God. I am not talking about putting ourselves back into a situation where we know we are going to be hurt or bullied again, but what I am talking about is letting go of the anger and hurt and giving it to God, and then moving on with our lives. Sometimes the Lord shows us that we need to be put back in a situation where we were hurt before, sometimes he so drastically changes hearts that he wants you there to encourage them, but often he just wants us to step back, and pray. "Pray for your enemies." It Is not an easy thing, but what Jesus did for us is not easy either.

As I listened to Vera Schlaam's story, and the power she found in forgiveness, I thought of my own life, and how I have forgiven those who had hurt me, only to find the blessings in the act of forgiveness.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Is It Really that Easy?

I sit here trying to form words for this blog, I am a writer, my gift is words, a story a poem, a novel can all be inspired by a single image, but writing is not that simple. You live breathe and eat words, one author says even when you are not writing you are writing, and I believe in a sense that is true. Life gives you plenty to write about, whether fiction or non-fiction. Imagination has a way of running away with you.

I began writing as a way to escape but more than that as a way to discover myself, I was a teenager, facing high school life, in the fall of 1992-93 and the words just began pouring onto a page, I had always loved to read so maybe writing was a natural graduation for me, but looking back some of those writings were no good. I would have years of work, writing courses and sheer living, before I would write anything that I dared send to a publisher.

Writing became a way of me to understand myself better, and the disabilities that I had, I was born with Hip Dysplasia and was diagnosed with Dyslexia when I was in Kindergarten, but the Dyslexia never slowed me down much, later I was also diagnosed with Dyscalculia which makes sense because math had always been a struggle for me, reading, writing and history not so much. My hand writing was affected as I got older but I could get things done with a computer. I was more than grateful when I got my first computer, a gift from my aunt and uncle, when I entered college.

When I was about seventeen I began having strange symptoms, bladder issues, muscle weaknesses, frequent calls, which at first I attributed to sheer clumsiness, but after a time I knew it was something more than that, and I had to look in to it. I was falling far too often, dealing with severe muscle pains and spasms, and trying my best to deal with the pain, once again my writing helped but more than that my faith helped. I found that spending time in prayer helped me a lot more than popping some pain pills, though they certainly have their place.

I went through years of tests, doctors who at first told me it was all in my head, that I was making things up, before I finally had a doctor and a psychologist who listened. My psychologist assured everyone that nothing about my condition was in my head, and the doctors took the time to listen. I was sent to more specialists who told me who said it was all in my head, but thankfully I had a doctor who refused to believe that, she saw my symptoms and saw the family history of neuromuscular disorders in my family, two cousins on my Mother's side were diagnosed with Beckers, my diagnosis was not finalized, I have the wide term of Neuromuscular disorder placed on me, which leaves about forty plus conditions, a few have been ruled out, but more tests are to come. I find that writing about this condition, and what I have been through not only helps me but it helps others, and writing stories whether fiction or non-fiction that show that those with disabilities can do almost anything they set their mind too. Braces, Canes, walkers, wheelchairs, crutches, prosthetics, hearing aids, blindness, deafness, do not have to be the definition of a person and it does not need to be how we define what they can and can and cannot do, when I wrote A Sisters Justice and Deception Beneath I wanted to show the world that things are not always as they seem, and that someone in a wheelchair is completely capable of defending others.

Now as I write this and work on the books to follow A Sisters Justice, and Deception Beneath I once again find myself determined to show others that in no way should a person be defined by their disability…

Michelle R Kidwell


Monday, April 5, 2010

Book Review Angel Train By Gilbert Morris

Copyright 2009

Are you ready to go on a journey back to the mid nineteenth Century, the days of Wagon Trains, long before the modern convinces of today. A devout Religious community in Pennsylvania picks up roots and heads to Oregon when economic recession threatens to tare this community apart. A young girl named Charity Morgan plays a pivotal role in convincing her Father to make this journey despite his misgivings, because the Lord speaks to her in a dream, and the message is confirmed through her Father. The journey by no means is going to be an easy one, they will face loss, and trials unlike anything they have ever faced, but despite all that they will also have moments of celebration.

When during the journey Cholerea affects members of the wagon train, they face more loss, and more questions, but despite this all, many members of this group survive.

If you are ready for an adventure to the days of Wagon Trains and month longs journey west, Angel Train is highly recommended…

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Risen Savior

John 11:25-26

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.

Can you imagine how Mary Magdalene felt as she saw Jesus risen from the dead, what an honor it must have been for her, to be the first to see the risen Messiah.

I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts going through Mary Magdalene's mind, but I am sure she felt at that moment the good Lord found favor with her but more than that I am sure she was humbled. Who was she to have the Risen Christ revealed to her? What it must be to see the nail pierced hands of our Savior, and to know that he died for humanity, suffered a death unlike no other. Who else but Jesus would walk through hell for us who are but sinners?

Matthew 28:1-10

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

I can only imagine what those who saw Jesus risen that Sunday must have thought, the joy they must have felt, and the realization that they had truly been following the Lord. I know there were moments of doubt and betrayal amongst some, but Jesus used the imperfect then just as he does today.

Jesus suffered death, the cross, even Hell, and became the ultimate lamb sacrificed, the symbol of God's great love, no longer did perfect lambs have to be slaughtered, because the perfect lamb was sacrificed on that cross, and he rose on the third day: What an amazing gift, the Risen Savior…

Mark 16:1-8

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

The time to grieve is now over, let us rejoice, rejoice in a Saviors unconditional love…




Saturday, April 3, 2010

Struggle Stages Guest Blogger Sarah L Tagert

Many smart people have proposed their model of how we develop, how the struggle are laid out. Now I will present my own. I believe each stage of our lives have their own unique struggle. We begin and also end our lives with a struggle of limitations abilities. Young and middle adulthood are unique in having their own struggles, specific to the particular stage of life.

As children age, they develop strengths and weaknesses. Some children naturally become more adept at sports than others. Even with little or no formal training, some children will develop a natural talent in music. Even before they can walk, in rare cases, a child will shoot a basket ball . These children may not struggle with accepting their abilities at an early age, but often suffer later in life. Children who do not exhibit extraordinary abilities will struggle more. They must find the thing which makes them unique and accept what they cannot do. Failing to resolve this struggle sets the stage for later success. Parents are key in children becoming well adjusted and confident.

Adolescence brings a shift from the inward to a struggle to change and accept the outward appearance. Teenagers struggle with feeling adequate compared to their friends. An effort is made to change what can be of the physical appearance, often going as far as eating disorders and in extreme cases, self mutilation. It is common knowledge the teen years are a volatile time. Parent and child are often at odds. Loud, heated debates are frequent. Raging hormones are blamed, but the underlying psychological aspect is often overlooked. Teenagers today are under immense stress to conform to social norms while finding their own identity. Frustrations arise from the parents' apparent lack of understanding. Teenagers struggle to blend in with their peers, not wishing to stand out. The latest fashions and fads are sought. Standing out because of a disability or deformity can be difficult to accept. Peers play a more crucial role in resolving this struggling. Finding a reliable group of friends can be essential in this stage.

Early adulthood is marked by the struggle to make something of one's life. The young adult enters the world for the first time on their own. They alone determine if they make something of themselves or fail. The focus is no longer on their abilities or appearance. It's time for them to put all of the experience and knowledge to work. Childhood is completely in the past. For most, the first task is to find a job which allows them to live independent. Social obligations also make up part of the recipe for success. Being proficient in the dating world, not just having friends is a unspoken requirement of typical social interaction. Young adults are expected to date, meet someone and eventually settle down and start families of their own. Accomplishing these tasks reflects not only on the individual but on their family and support system as well. If one fails, they both fail.

Middle adulthood is shaped by how the individual maintains their functions and interactions. Continuing to work and care for family, both children and aging parents are central tasks. Middle adults are in many ways a sandwich generation. They often have teenage or young adult children, and aging parents. They are often torn between responsibly to both and struggle with finding balance and time for themselves. It is often during this time they also notices declines in their own health and abilities as well. Eye sight and hearing might start to decline, though not markedly. Women will enter menopause, and men often try to regain youth. Accepting the impact and effects of decline is key to resolution. Middle adults must accept they are entering a new chapter of their lives.

Late adulthood is marked by a sharp decline in ability and function. Elderly people often find they are less able to care for themselves and their needs than in previous years. Assistance is often required, even for the most basic and intimate tasks. The struggle is maintaining dignity while obtaining proper care. Family is important in this stage, as in early childhood. Seniors must recognize the abilities they still have and balance this with the loss of function. Family support can make the transition into late adult more seamless. Development of strategies to preserve dignity can bolster psychological health and make the situation easier on everyone involved. The senior years can be enjoyed fully, despite declining health and function.

Each stage of life is marked by it's own struggle. How we handle these struggle depends on many factors. The most important element is support of family and friends. Those without support have a more difficult struggle and often go through life without resolving key internal conflicts. Understanding the feelings of people in different walks of life can make understanding their struggles easier. I'm not an expert in psychology, these are simply my own observations.