Let’s Be Honest: Insecurity

Let's be honest with ourselves, and I mean truly honest.

We've all been at a place where we have felt insecure right?

Insecurity may cause more problem to some that others, but my guess is at one time or another we have all had problems with our security.

I know I have, and many I call friends have. Even the greatest, and most beautiful have, if we look at the lives of even the most beautiful, the most popular we can see insecurity.

Actresses and actors hooked on drugs, famous people committing suicide.

Insecurity has become a real problem. And if we don't address the problem it is going to continue to destroy lives literally.

There is hope though, hope in Christ.

In her book so Long Insecurity Beth Moore says this:

God knows we are insecure but we do not need to be. And He will not leave well enough alone. He has enough security for those of us who call Christ Savior. He slipped his own secure spirit within our simple jars of clay." Beth Moore So Long Insecurity Pg 143

We in this generation have perhaps more that can cause us to be insecure than the generations before us. We are inundated by media images, of what perfect is, we are constantly told we are to fat, to thin, or to whatever, to tall, to short, our hair is not the right color, we aren't wearing the right brand of shoes, we don't have the newest electronic gadget, but in no way should those be the things that feed our insecurity, yet they do.

When we embrace Christ though, when Christ is our Savior that is the place where we can truly find our security.

Now's the time to be honest, what has made you insecure and how has your relationship with the Lord changed that insecure feeling that once swallowed you whole?

Michelle R Kidwell

 

This Writers Prayer!

After a little over a year of writing and rewriting, I finally put the final touches on Buried Truths the third book in the Marishka Tanya Alexei series, and now I already find myself thinking in terms of book four, while writing yet another book Love Illuminated. I find myself doing a little celebration treating myself to a Rice Krispies Treat, and just relaxing for a few, okay well I am writing this blog, and working a little on Love Illuminated, but after getting Buried Truths finished I find myself relieved but I do not believe this is going to be the last that is heard from the Alexei family, Marishka and her families story is far from over. I have lived, breathed ate and slept these stories for so long, that I have become rather attached to the characters LOL!

I am sitting here after one am having finished Buried truths, yet still wide awake, Abby (my precious poodle laying on my bed) looking over at me hinting, and our rescue kitty Cindy under my desk keeping me company as I write, and contemplate on the blessings of this writer's life. The fact is I have a lot to celebrate the most important of course is the fact that I serve the Lord, without him I would not be sharing.

As I am writing this, I am reminding of John 1:1-14

 ¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning.

 ³Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴In him was life, and that life was the light of men. ⁵The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood^[a] it.

 ⁶There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. ⁷He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. ⁸He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. ⁹The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.^[b]

 ¹⁰He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³children born not of natural descent,^[c] nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

 ¹⁴The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,^[d] who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

As a writer but more than that as Christian those words intrigue me, in the beginning was the word and the word was God. I think of the gift of words the Lord blessed me with, and I find myself praying:

Lord let me use my words to glorify you, let my words draw others to you.

I remind myself daily that whether I am writing fiction or writing fact, I am writing to glorify the Lord, and though I am not perfect, I do serve a perfect Lord, who gave me the gift of words, how could I not write for him?

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell

April.09.2010

1:17 A.M PST

    

 

Could You Forgive?

Last night I found myself watching a program on prayer late last night, early this morning and one segment talked about a woman who talked about forgiving the Nazi's who had imprisoned her family in Bergen Belsen, forgiveness is a powerful tool and we all have the power to forgive but to forgive something like that prayer is needed, and we truly need to lean on the Lord.

I have been hurt before and have forgiven, but never have I experienced the pain of not knowing whether or not I was going to be gassed In Nazi showers, and perhaps even praying that I would, because so much hope was stripped from me, forgiveness of something like that is done with the hand of God, and with a lot of support, it was a Christian friend, nearly twenty years later and in California instead of the Dutch camp of Bergen Belsen, in California, Vera gave the hurt and pain she was holding onto to God. Like she said forgiveness is not about letting someone go scot free but about letting God take care of the justice.

I listened intently to Vera Schlaam's story and found myself thinking of our own power to forgive, far too often, we hold onto the smallest offenses not giving them to God. I am not talking about putting ourselves back into a situation where we know we are going to be hurt or bullied again, but what I am talking about is letting go of the anger and hurt and giving it to God, and then moving on with our lives. Sometimes the Lord shows us that we need to be put back in a situation where we were hurt before, sometimes he so drastically changes hearts that he wants you there to encourage them, but often he just wants us to step back, and pray. "Pray for your enemies." It Is not an easy thing, but what Jesus did for us is not easy either.

As I listened to Vera Schlaam's story, and the power she found in forgiveness, I thought of my own life, and how I have forgiven those who had hurt me, only to find the blessings in the act of forgiveness.

Is It Really that Easy?

I sit here trying to form words for this blog, I am a writer, my gift is words, a story a poem, a novel can all be inspired by a single image, but writing is not that simple. You live breathe and eat words, one author says even when you are not writing you are writing, and I believe in a sense that is true. Life gives you plenty to write about, whether fiction or non-fiction. Imagination has a way of running away with you.

I began writing as a way to escape but more than that as a way to discover myself, I was a teenager, facing high school life, in the fall of 1992-93 and the words just began pouring onto a page, I had always loved to read so maybe writing was a natural graduation for me, but looking back some of those writings were no good. I would have years of work, writing courses and sheer living, before I would write anything that I dared send to a publisher.

Writing became a way of me to understand myself better, and the disabilities that I had, I was born with Hip Dysplasia and was diagnosed with Dyslexia when I was in Kindergarten, but the Dyslexia never slowed me down much, later I was also diagnosed with Dyscalculia which makes sense because math had always been a struggle for me, reading, writing and history not so much. My hand writing was affected as I got older but I could get things done with a computer. I was more than grateful when I got my first computer, a gift from my aunt and uncle, when I entered college.

When I was about seventeen I began having strange symptoms, bladder issues, muscle weaknesses, frequent calls, which at first I attributed to sheer clumsiness, but after a time I knew it was something more than that, and I had to look in to it. I was falling far too often, dealing with severe muscle pains and spasms, and trying my best to deal with the pain, once again my writing helped but more than that my faith helped. I found that spending time in prayer helped me a lot more than popping some pain pills, though they certainly have their place.

I went through years of tests, doctors who at first told me it was all in my head, that I was making things up, before I finally had a doctor and a psychologist who listened. My psychologist assured everyone that nothing about my condition was in my head, and the doctors took the time to listen. I was sent to more specialists who told me who said it was all in my head, but thankfully I had a doctor who refused to believe that, she saw my symptoms and saw the family history of neuromuscular disorders in my family, two cousins on my Mother's side were diagnosed with Beckers, my diagnosis was not finalized, I have the wide term of Neuromuscular disorder placed on me, which leaves about forty plus conditions, a few have been ruled out, but more tests are to come. I find that writing about this condition, and what I have been through not only helps me but it helps others, and writing stories whether fiction or non-fiction that show that those with disabilities can do almost anything they set their mind too. Braces, Canes, walkers, wheelchairs, crutches, prosthetics, hearing aids, blindness, deafness, do not have to be the definition of a person and it does not need to be how we define what they can and can and cannot do, when I wrote A Sisters Justice and Deception Beneath I wanted to show the world that things are not always as they seem, and that someone in a wheelchair is completely capable of defending others.

Now as I write this and work on the books to follow A Sisters Justice, and Deception Beneath I once again find myself determined to show others that in no way should a person be defined by their disability…

Michelle R Kidwell

 

Book Review Angel Train By Gilbert Morris

Copyright 2009

Are you ready to go on a journey back to the mid nineteenth Century, the days of Wagon Trains, long before the modern convinces of today. A devout Religious community in Pennsylvania picks up roots and heads to Oregon when economic recession threatens to tare this community apart. A young girl named Charity Morgan plays a pivotal role in convincing her Father to make this journey despite his misgivings, because the Lord speaks to her in a dream, and the message is confirmed through her Father. The journey by no means is going to be an easy one, they will face loss, and trials unlike anything they have ever faced, but despite all that they will also have moments of celebration.

When during the journey Cholerea affects members of the wagon train, they face more loss, and more questions, but despite this all, many members of this group survive.

If you are ready for an adventure to the days of Wagon Trains and month longs journey west, Angel Train is highly recommended…

The Risen Savior

John 11:25-26

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
(NIV)

Can you imagine how Mary Magdalene felt as she saw Jesus risen from the dead, what an honor it must have been for her, to be the first to see the risen Messiah.

I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts going through Mary Magdalene's mind, but I am sure she felt at that moment the good Lord found favor with her but more than that I am sure she was humbled. Who was she to have the Risen Christ revealed to her? What it must be to see the nail pierced hands of our Savior, and to know that he died for humanity, suffered a death unlike no other. Who else but Jesus would walk through hell for us who are but sinners?

Matthew 28:1-10

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

I can only imagine what those who saw Jesus risen that Sunday must have thought, the joy they must have felt, and the realization that they had truly been following the Lord. I know there were moments of doubt and betrayal amongst some, but Jesus used the imperfect then just as he does today.

Jesus suffered death, the cross, even Hell, and became the ultimate lamb sacrificed, the symbol of God's great love, no longer did perfect lambs have to be slaughtered, because the perfect lamb was sacrificed on that cross, and he rose on the third day: What an amazing gift, the Risen Savior…

Mark 16:1-8

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

The time to grieve is now over, let us rejoice, rejoice in a Saviors unconditional love…

 

 

 

Struggle Stages Guest Blogger Sarah L Tagert

Many smart people have proposed their model of how we develop, how the struggle are laid out. Now I will present my own. I believe each stage of our lives have their own unique struggle. We begin and also end our lives with a struggle of limitations abilities. Young and middle adulthood are unique in having their own struggles, specific to the particular stage of life.

As children age, they develop strengths and weaknesses. Some children naturally become more adept at sports than others. Even with little or no formal training, some children will develop a natural talent in music. Even before they can walk, in rare cases, a child will shoot a basket ball . These children may not struggle with accepting their abilities at an early age, but often suffer later in life. Children who do not exhibit extraordinary abilities will struggle more. They must find the thing which makes them unique and accept what they cannot do. Failing to resolve this struggle sets the stage for later success. Parents are key in children becoming well adjusted and confident.

Adolescence brings a shift from the inward to a struggle to change and accept the outward appearance. Teenagers struggle with feeling adequate compared to their friends. An effort is made to change what can be of the physical appearance, often going as far as eating disorders and in extreme cases, self mutilation. It is common knowledge the teen years are a volatile time. Parent and child are often at odds. Loud, heated debates are frequent. Raging hormones are blamed, but the underlying psychological aspect is often overlooked. Teenagers today are under immense stress to conform to social norms while finding their own identity. Frustrations arise from the parents' apparent lack of understanding. Teenagers struggle to blend in with their peers, not wishing to stand out. The latest fashions and fads are sought. Standing out because of a disability or deformity can be difficult to accept. Peers play a more crucial role in resolving this struggling. Finding a reliable group of friends can be essential in this stage.

Early adulthood is marked by the struggle to make something of one's life. The young adult enters the world for the first time on their own. They alone determine if they make something of themselves or fail. The focus is no longer on their abilities or appearance. It's time for them to put all of the experience and knowledge to work. Childhood is completely in the past. For most, the first task is to find a job which allows them to live independent. Social obligations also make up part of the recipe for success. Being proficient in the dating world, not just having friends is a unspoken requirement of typical social interaction. Young adults are expected to date, meet someone and eventually settle down and start families of their own. Accomplishing these tasks reflects not only on the individual but on their family and support system as well. If one fails, they both fail.

Middle adulthood is shaped by how the individual maintains their functions and interactions. Continuing to work and care for family, both children and aging parents are central tasks. Middle adults are in many ways a sandwich generation. They often have teenage or young adult children, and aging parents. They are often torn between responsibly to both and struggle with finding balance and time for themselves. It is often during this time they also notices declines in their own health and abilities as well. Eye sight and hearing might start to decline, though not markedly. Women will enter menopause, and men often try to regain youth. Accepting the impact and effects of decline is key to resolution. Middle adults must accept they are entering a new chapter of their lives.

Late adulthood is marked by a sharp decline in ability and function. Elderly people often find they are less able to care for themselves and their needs than in previous years. Assistance is often required, even for the most basic and intimate tasks. The struggle is maintaining dignity while obtaining proper care. Family is important in this stage, as in early childhood. Seniors must recognize the abilities they still have and balance this with the loss of function. Family support can make the transition into late adult more seamless. Development of strategies to preserve dignity can bolster psychological health and make the situation easier on everyone involved. The senior years can be enjoyed fully, despite declining health and function.

Each stage of life is marked by it's own struggle. How we handle these struggle depends on many factors. The most important element is support of family and friends. Those without support have a more difficult struggle and often go through life without resolving key internal conflicts. Understanding the feelings of people in different walks of life can make understanding their struggles easier. I'm not an expert in psychology, these are simply my own observations.